5 Super duper things I’ve experienced in K’la.
1. I was run over…by a guy on roller blades. He came barreling around a corner out of nowhere, and BAM!...took me out. It was like a cross between an illegal hockey check that will get you 2 minutes and a wicked toe stump. Hard to picture….but try. It happened, and I lived to tell the tale.
2. A kid with a scale approached our table at a restaurant, offering to weigh us. For the low low price of a Bitano ($0.17), weigh yourself while you dine. Only one of us took him up on it. It was not I. I have a very special way to know if I’ve gained weight, and that is to put my jeans on occasionally and see if they fit…and it’s free.
3. I’ve had food poisoning in Kampala…twice. I’ve thrown up in some wonderful places and in some not so wonderful places. Try me.
4. I was told to “suck it” by a guy dressed like an American rapper after I told him to pull up his pants. He had previously tried to steal my sandwich outside of a grocery store at 12:30am. Said grocery store is extremely nice during the day, but, after midnight, transforms into a sketchy Wal-Mart type atmosphere.
This was our exchange:
“Muzungu, give me your sandwich.” (reaches for the delicious sandwich clutched in my hands)
“No, ssebo, this is my sandwich! (struggle to keep hold of my prized possession)…and pull up your pants.” (using hands and feet to keep him away and while keeping my sandwich out of reach)
“Ughh…Suck it!” (with a hand gesture as he walks away)
I deem this my most successful of cultural exchanges.
5. Thanks to Peace Corps legend, I have been introduced to a hole in the wall Ethiopian restaurant in the middle of someone’s living room.
Directions: Walk through the old taxi park down the curved side street. Turn right at the guest house sign. Walk through the brothel, past the father and son washing shoes, up the sketchy stairs, and under hanging laundry. Second door on your right. Sketchy jaunt to get there, but it sure is delicious…and cheap ($1.55 per person on avg.)